When I first began considering conversion over fifteen months ago, I imagined that I would engage myself in six to twelve months of 'studying' Islam so that I could first become greatly familiar with its doctrines, theology, tenets, history, etc. This cerebral acquisition I deemed a necessary precondition to embracing the religion---how could one declare faith in a religion of which they are yet even partially ignorant? However, much to my surprise, my heart leapt far ahead of my plans and a short three months after I had begun, I felt I had no recourse but to convert almost immediately. I wanted to be Muslim, unquestionably, publicly, officially, and I quickly saw that anything else would merely be an agonizing delay of the inevitable.

Once I took my shahada, I thought that now I would continue moving quickly along and digest all the material I had once thought essential to 'knowing' Islam. I was Muslim, that was clear, and I had just begun to understand what that entailed, so surely these first few months would be filled with rapid and intensive learning.

That is not either how things have turned out. I discovered, much to my surprise, that I needed to take things slowly just when I thought I should be most interested in progressing rapidly. The reason seems to be that there are a great many lessons in Islam, as in many religions I would venture, which the mind can digest almost instantly, but which to be most truly effectuated must be written in the heart and incorporated into the daily mechanics of habit and action. I have some specific things in mind, of course, but mostly what it boils down to is "be a good person". Very challenging.

There has also been the matter of simply believing in God, or Allah. While my innermost nature was elated to find God, the rest of me--my mind, my daily life, the intellectual framework of my vision and the actions directly resulting from that vision--required a much longer period of adjustment. I think for many months, my brain was reeling from all the implications inherent to suddenly, within the span of a summer, admitting to one's self that in my view of the world, God exists and is the Creator of almost everything I have--the possible exceptions being my decisions, and my actions, as a matter of freewill and freedom of choice.

In any case, I will leave it at that, but reflecting on the past year or so since my official conversion, I think despite my instinct to dive headfirst into a pile of books and lofty ideas, perhaps it has proved better that I took things slowly and duly noted the depth and significance of the simpler things which I might otherwise have taken for granted.