If you try to say الصلاة احسن من النوم at 5:30 in the morning, your weaker heart makes it come out reversed.

Seriously, I woke up at 5:30 in the morning and tried to say it aloud to myself, and I was so befuddled that it came out the opposite of what it was supposed to be.

Ha. Crap. I just wrote an entry on my musings about God and death and the afterlife. (see previous entry below)

It only occurs to me now that some NSA desk jockey is totally going to find that on the internet and be like: "OMG, this guy is going Jihadi!"

lol. well.... that's pertty funny to me :)

I do not think I am afraid to die. I have tried to do my best with what has been given to me, and whatever God's judgment of my life may be, I am certain it will be no more and no less than I deserve. Although I hope He judges me kindly, and even if He does not, I hope some humble deed of mine might meet His approval, just so I could know that at least one thing I did in life was thought highly of by My Lord.

Of course, I do not know if in fact I am not afraid to die. Maybe you can't know until it happens. Certainly you cannot know very much until it draws near.

But alhamdulillah. I have been given so much in this world through no doing or merit of my own. I pray that I go to paradise, of course. But even if I do not. How can I begrudge God for taking back my life when it was always His to begin with.

you know, for all the decrying of anti-Islamic vitriol in the public sphere, we don't need the right wing nut jobs, the evangelical christians, or the sorely misguided academics to drag the name of Islam in the mud. There are plenty of Muslims in the world who do it for them.

bah. This entry is too bitter.